it has been a while hasn’t it ?

I have yet to write an entry since my previous post I made after I started my part-time job.

I decided that this might be a good time to confess about this conflicted feelings of mine. It has since been two months when I started work and like any other jobs, I love this one very much. Heck, I even went to work during my off day but that’s partly due to my carelesness ( T_T)\(^-^ )

aside from that, I was given a brief training around the store and each staff leader taught me how to display their books. Come a girl my age who was showing around her area and who could have thought that we had so much in common (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

so nuch so that who could have thought that this friendship could have turned into something more…

of a one-sided-fondness-of-like…

oh how much I struggle to understand this situation that I’ve put myself in.

It started with just a casual introduction and briefings to having lunch and getting into deeper conversations. happiness poured and the chemistry flowed in this overfilled bucket that I can’t contained no more, as it the overflowed water is reflecting my feelings towards her. She is an open-minded person and weren’t being judgmental about my disposition that I felt such joy of being accepted for who I am. As days passed by slowly and yet quickly in the store, I eventually looking forward to work only so that I could feel her presence and speak to her. My eyes would unconsciously search for her presence in the store and I would help her as much as I could (partly because her books are the easiest to display) and wanted nothing but praise from her. Everytime we passed by each other, we would smile and giggle like little girls as if we have a deep secret to tell. A secret that of a friendship which quickly form and bloom yet everyone remain oblivious of how close we became.

In the end month of May, we had a huge sales stock and it was the first time that I unconsciously let my guard down and comfortably had occasional ‘touch’ like hugging. At one point I unconsciously placed my chin on her shoulder and she responded with ‘tired ?’. I then shrugged and without wanting to appear brash or immature, I opted for the cute, short but also non-chalant reply, ‘a bit, yeh’.

it’s lame yes. By this time I didn’t know that my thoughts on our friendship was of something more than just ‘friends’.


good things started happening

and then shit comes crashing down in full sweep. I mean, no one wants to see you end the week with good vibes, even the universe doesn’t allow it.

I started a part time job at an international bookstore. I love it there since it has been my dream to work at that store. Everything has been great, my team are awesome and supportive. The customers are all super-nice and I did my job correctly throughout the whole time I’ve been there.

Just about I was going to end this week then karma just shoots me right in the ass. Recently our store has had a major re-shuffling of our goods and changes has to be made. So I had one customer browsing through several items and asked if the price is included with tax. It wasn’t supposed to be but I don’t know if we’ve changed it or not. But I didn’t think to verify and told her no because I was living under a stupid assumption that it has since changed.

My carelessness had turned me into a major panic mess. But this is honestly my mistake so whatever the higher ups would say, it should be on me. Tomorrow is my day off so I have to wait till Monday to find out if the customer gave me a complaint or not.

I pray that she didn’t looked at her receipt and threw away the evidence. On a side note, the items she bought could have had its price reduced so you’d never know. I can’t tell which ones she took though. Like I said, I can only pray dammit.

It may seemed to be a minor problem but as careless as I am, I am also a perfectionist.

And a very paranoid person…

which is why joints are bad for me.

I hope that others are doing better than I.


ask for a cat and it shall be given to you

is actually true. God works in mysterious ways. This happened when I was on my way home and I was in a desperate need of a cat’s paw and snuggles.

Then, during dinner when I was telling a funny joke (indicative that I’m a fairly funny person because Mum was laughing), I heard a cat meowed outside the house. Turns out, it was a tabby CAT! I didn’t even think twice by letting it inside our house, so we fed it and the cat was EXTREMELY friendly, constantly rubbing on our legs and kept asking to be petted, which made us convinced that this wasn’t just a stray cat. But nobody claimed it so we… kept it. heh.

Then, another cat appeared out of nowhere which started meowing from outside and it had the EXACT same FUR etc… so that damned cat had a brother. now we have two cats…

Day two: Mum got excited (encouraged by me) and bought them a pair of collars with bells, a toy, a bunch of food and a scratch board with catnip. p.s.: the catnip did nothing.

Day three: now the cat kept headbutting us and rubbed against our legs to the point that we had to run or slide in case we might stepped on the cat. haha ridiculous i know.. We kept the cats outside and only let them in when there are people in the house but at most nights, they would sleep outside inside a boxed house.

Day four: now one of the brother is missing.

updates will be notified.




sense8 !!!

The season finale of sense8 is out! the two-hour episode will conclude as a ‘wrap-up’ for the series as what was promised by Netflix, since it got cancelled even after reaching quite a huge popularity for reasons mainly because of financial burdens, understandably since the filming took place in more than five countries. But they did it so well and had an amazing storyline. The story did not just touch on our current social issues, but the drama took us on the journey exploring the development of each characters (mainly eight as mentioned in the title). It’s all about acceptance, gratitude, compassion and empathy, which I think is lacking in our current society.

Trailer for the two-hour episode:


must. talk. MORE.


the anxious driver

so you’re driving on the highway and the road is so spacious you don’t have to worry about anything as you listen to your playlist specifically for driving, playing in the background while singing to the lyrics from the tunes and the weather is just perfect for a drive. ahh this is very enjoyable. you switch it up to ‘September’ by Earth, Fire and Winds because you feel like dancing when suddenly a car is behind you getting closer and closer, you notice that the car is getting so fast because the light shines so brightly that it reflects your rear mirror and you feel like if I don’t speed up this car might just hit me from behind and so I guess I have to speed up, now the sound of your engine revs up so loud that your song begins to fade and you forgot that it was on shuffle so the tune to Initial D ‘Crazy on Emotion’ started playing on full blast and it gets your blood pumping all the more from the car that’s tailgating you, now you speed up just to keep the space between you and the car behind you but suddenly, there appears to be cars closely packed together like sausages on a conveyor belt on your left lane so you have no choice but to speed up to find a space in between so you can at least squeeze into to give way for the car behind you who is still revving up its engine so it can pass through, by now your pupil dilates and sweat begins to appear lining you moustache area, its the climax of Initial D and a couple of minutes later you see an opening and you start to indicate to the left when suddenly the car from your left indicate to the right! you’re hoping that the left car could give way to you so you speed up but then the car unable to understand the signs, REVS UP and trying to get past you but you’re trying to keep the space between the car behind you because you don’t want to be in the way and there’s nothing more suspence than having them turning their indicate light or high beam on but there’s a corner so there’s nothing you can do but wait until the right moment and here it comes but wait! there’s a bloody traffic so all of us had to slow down and nobody gets what they want. by now the audio is playing ‘The Scientist’ by Coldplay and you softly whisper ‘Fuck’.

I shed 15 years off my life driving.


inside the mind of a fujoshi:

entry #1: the other day…

I was watching a music show where two pair of guys performed on stage singing and Boy A was accompanied by his music partner on a piano. Boy A was singing about a person and his passionate love towards a girl whilst Piano Boy playfully hitting the melody. Together, Boy A’s voice beautifully resonates with the lyrics and the sounds played by Piano Boy.

a fujoshi can’t help but imagine…

whilst writing the lyrics to this song, Boy A experienced a writer’s block and as Piano Boy randomly tapping on the piano keys when suddenly, Boy A had an epiphany and reaching close to his face, Boy A stood only a breath away from his partner as they both found the perfect ending to the lyrics, together. At that moment, Piano Boy felt a deep surge of affectionate and endearment as he hums to the newly finished song that they both composed. At this moment, Piano Boy is determined that he doesn’t want to part with him as he want to always be the one to put a smile on his face as they both compose songs together, until one day the songs will be about their own ‘love story’.


I was so entranced by Boy A’s presence on stage that when he sings and accompanied by Piano Boy, their chemistry stood so far apart from other performers so i created a parallel universe for the both of them hehe (✿╹◡╹)


It’s March!

time flies so fast when you’re not paying attention. the next minute you realized that it’s March is when you know that you have resigned from your current job and nervously preparing yourself for the next big jump; which is to pursue for your study.

haa.. this considered to be quite a big leap since I know I am capable of doing everything and yet I am not doing everything and I ended up in this spirallic staircase that’s heading nowhere but round and round.

Nevertheless! I still have goals and I aim to achieve it in my own pace…

On top of that, I want to be more active on my journal so I downloaded the app on my phone ♪( ´▽`)

Even though it’s already March, I hope to share many of the mundane things in my mundane life as a mundane (⌒▽⌒) haha *f‭ailed attempt at Shadowhunter joke*

maybe I should stop being funny…