it has been a while hasn’t it ?
I have yet to write an entry since my previous post I made after I started my part-time job.
I decided that this might be a good time to confess about this conflicted feelings of mine. It has since been two months when I started work and like any other jobs, I love this one very much. Heck, I even went to work during my off day but that’s partly due to my carelesness ( T_T)＼(^-^ )
aside from that, I was given a brief training around the store and each staff leader taught me how to display their books. Come a girl my age who was showing around her area and who could have thought that we had so much in common (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
so nuch so that who could have thought that this friendship could have turned into something more…
of a one-sided-fondness-of-like…
oh how much I struggle to understand this situation that I’ve put myself in.
It started with just a casual introduction and briefings to having lunch and getting into deeper conversations. happiness poured and the chemistry flowed in this overfilled bucket that I can’t contained no more, as it the overflowed water is reflecting my feelings towards her. She is an open-minded person and weren’t being judgmental about my disposition that I felt such joy of being accepted for who I am. As days passed by slowly and yet quickly in the store, I eventually looking forward to work only so that I could feel her presence and speak to her. My eyes would unconsciously search for her presence in the store and I would help her as much as I could (partly because her books are the easiest to display) and wanted nothing but praise from her. Everytime we passed by each other, we would smile and giggle like little girls as if we have a deep secret to tell. A secret that of a friendship which quickly form and bloom yet everyone remain oblivious of how close we became.
In the end month of May, we had a huge sales stock and it was the first time that I unconsciously let my guard down and comfortably had occasional ‘touch’ like hugging. At one point I unconsciously placed my chin on her shoulder and she responded with ‘tired ?’. I then shrugged and without wanting to appear brash or immature, I opted for the cute, short but also non-chalant reply, ‘a bit, yeh’.
it’s lame yes. By this time I didn’t know that my thoughts on our friendship was of something more than just ‘friends’.